Cheer up people

Hooray it's Christmas time! another chance for people to fill Facebook with depressing status updates on how they hope next year will be better than the last one and how life is sooo bad :( boo hoo. Come on cheer up people. Here's some cheerfulness to try and help.

sno common sense

Ok, so it's still snowing outside. People are still making awesome snowmen and cabin fever is probably setting in for a lot of people, but common sence is still a must. Just because you can eat yellow snow, doesn't mean you should. Come on people learn the rules. I have found a lot of video's of morons in the snow and have stuck some of my favourite after the jump. enjoy but remember leave this to the professionals or the criminally insane...

Snooooooo...

Winter is here, there has been snow everywhere and more is set to come, this means that people are showing their creative sides and building snowmen, but this year the snowmen seem a bit more sinister than ever before. This could be they're revenge for global warming but either way. You Have Been Warned.

Facebook Fails

 People seem to spend so much time on Facebook it's unreal, all day updating their status and pretending to be farmers, i don't understand how people spend hours on it to be honest. But either way, with people spending so much time on there mistakes and awkward conversations are guaranteed, and here i am to show you the worst ones that I have found.... enjoy them here

Too Much Time on Your Hands

Some people have too much time on their hands, i mean i have free time which is why i waste my time doing these blogs, but i don't have this much free time. People who do these things need to get a life, or a girlfriend, or at the very least a hobby. Dont get me wrong some of these are cool, but you have too much free time if you do them... to see the wastes of time click here.

Japan is Weird

Ok, so I can confirm that the weirdest country in the world is Japan, no surprise there... but i decided that i should probably put some of these pictures up here, just because they made me laugh and I figured it was only fair to share them and hopefully share the laughter, either way hit the jump for the japanese weirdness...

Petrol Problems

Wow apparently the world has a deficiency in the number of evil genius' around, this is clear after a petrol bomber got caught after requiring medical attention. I know that doesn't sound too bad i mean it must be pretty easy to get burned petrol bombing somewhere right. Well unfortunately for Amir Ali, his attempts to burn down the Imperial pub in broadfield didn't go as well as expected. hit the jump for the story...

Tramadol

Kind of misleading title and photo, just been watching Franky Boyle's Tramadol Nights and thought i'd post some of my favourite sketches on here for you to see. Very funny but kind of offensive, if you like then Franky Boyle's Tramadol Nights is on Channel 4 but im watching it on 4OD.

To watch the videos hit the jump

The Gore Score

Ok, i was watching "El Classico", the football match between Real Madrid and Barcelona. Spain and supposedly the worlds best game and was nothing shot of amazed at how much diving took place. I know some of the players aren't eligible to play football in the olympics, but practicing for the swimming should be in their own time. Any way i thought that i would post a couple of images of real sporting injuries just to remind us that having someone brush against you isn't going to break your leg....

More pictures here

You Laugh You Lose. Round 2

After you laugh you lose was my most viewed blog to date (by a long way) i figured i'd try to replicate that success, and as it was the most fun post to put together,  all of the content will be new.To let you know the rules are simple, if you laugh at any point while looking through the post you lose. Don't be afraid to admit it in the comments section below.

To see the full selection hit the jump

Religious Fun

 The pope has announced he is in favour of condoms in extreme circumstance "like male prostitution" i'm not making this shit up and has caused great confusion as people are surprised given the churches general opinion on contraception. If i'm being honest the male prostitutes bit scares me more than the condoms bit. We all already knew that children should fear the pope and any other catholic officials but now we find out that guys aren't safe either. 

It seems the catholic church is trying to use some of the intimidation tactics some other religions use, although "we have suicide bombers to defend our cause" works a little better than "obey us or an old man is gonna sodomise you (wearing a condom)"

Hit the jump for more images.

You Sir, Are Fat!

Its Thanksgiving in America today, or it could have been yesterday, i'm not sure. but either way like christmas day in the U.K. it means its the time for overeating and sitting around not going to work. In the spirit of these commendable traditions i present to you some of the fattest, laziest looking animals since Rick Waller.

Black Belt in Fail

What is  it that makes people think they are dangerous because they own a sword. The people in the videos after the jump are dangerous to themselves and that is it i mean WOW.... is all I can say about some of these people,


Check out some of the least dangerous martial arts instructors  and sword enthusiasts of all time after the jump.

I Could Do That

Just been watching some epic videos of people doing some epic things, and after a couple of minutes fooling myself that i could probably do them i've decided to just share them and leave the stunts and tricks up to the pros...

click here for the videos
check out this older blog as well

U Laff U Lose

The Challenge has been Set. If you can look through this whole post without laughing then you are a winner. If not then you lose...                 for the rest of the images click here

IKEA Life

What if IKEA made instructions for everything...

You Can't Rollerskate in a Buffalo Herd

Proving that Jackass' warning not to attempt their stunts is true a 67 year old woman is in hospital after she was attacked by a bull while walking through it's field near Leicestershire. Hang on, so they walked through its field, it attacked them, and everyone is pissed and the bull got put down...wtf? for the full story check out http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-england-nottinghamshire-11752957

Future Nurses

Girl Rope Swings Into The Ground - Watch more Funny Videos
And this girl is the one who is closest to being a nurse? if the american health system is in trouble now wait until she graduates.

Darth Vader vs Hitler

Ultimate battle of Evil, Who would win Hitler or Darth Vader









To find out watch the video after the jump

Jesus Had HIV

According to South African Pastor Xola Skosana Jesus Christ was HIV-Positive. 

Pastor Xola Skosana Said this in Cape Town, South Africa

Hang on, so the son of god, suffered from a debilitating disease. A disease that would almost certainly have led to aids (I don't think there was much medication in the year 0AD). This would mean that a common cold or minor infection could kill him. I think the roman put a bit to much effort into his cross if that is the case. I mean i've watched live aid, Aids victims can hardly stand up, surely just sneeze on him and end i quick. (this is a joke, fundamentalists please don't kill me)

Although it does raise the question where did Jesus get HIV, is the Pastor suggesting that Jesus and the disciples were passing around the heroin at the last supper and one of them didn't clean the needle, or maybe Jesus didn't wrap his tool while getting it on with Mary Madeline. Either way you'd think God might have stepped in if either of these were true.

For the full story on this visit http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/world-africa-11575773

Scratch and Sniff and Munchies

The world really has gone insane. The dutch are now being sent scratch and sniff cards to help them find cannabis. Now i'm not claiming to be an expert but weed has a pretty distinctive smell and Holland has a bit of a reputation. You would think between those factors most of Holland would know the smell of cannabis. But the government are now sending out scratch and sniff cards so people can find cannabis plantations... yeah this is an amazing idea... not. Essentially the dutch are being hired as sniffer dogs to find something that has made their country a destination for all young travellers and they expect them to give it to the police.......suuuuuuure.... sounds to me like the Dutch police are smoking a bit themselves and as they are sat eating Cheetos on the sofa they decided to get someone else to do all the work for them. For the Full Story click Here.

OAP Fights

Just ordered Fight Club on blu-ray after seeing this remake of one of the movies classic scenes and thought i'd post this for others to see as well.

The Gentlemen Fight Back

Isn't it really annoying when your talking to a girl and after a great start she decides to tell you she has a boyfriend. Well one man has decided to fight back against this fraudulent flirting. Enjoy.
She Has A Boyfriend - Watch more Funny Videos

Brap.

Fun News Story for the day, apparently Staines, in Surrey UK is considering changing its name to attract investors that have been put off by the bad reputation caused by being the home of Ali G. 

Ali G of course being the FICTIONAL character created by COMEDIAN Sacha Baron Cohen, alongside his other creations, Borat (Kazakhstan's TV Presenter) and Bruno (The worlds second most famous austrian behind Hitler). Now to be honest I don't think any serious investors would take this into account. 

Although, come to think of it, it wasn't that long ago that he had to apologise to Kazakhstan for portraying them in such a bad light. Is this the state the world is in. The most powerful social terrorist in the western world lives with his Nan.

For the full story, follow the Jump.

Funny Pictures

God seems pretty pissed about Global Warming

Right, Just got in from work and started looking around on the internet for funny pictures, found a few that made me laugh, although that could be the alcohol or the fact its 4am and I physically need to sleep before i collapse on my desk. On that note time for sleep.
So enjoy.

The rest of the Pictures are after the jump

Epic People

People Are Awesome - Watch more Sports
Wow, people really are awesome.

North Korea's Viral Images

 Obviously North Korea is lacking some of the fundamentals required for viral images, such as the internet and electricity but none the less, someone has come up with these ingenious idea's of what else would be circulating the internet if Kim Jong Il's minions were adding their contributions.

BTW these are all jokes, please don't attack me North Korea. I am afraid of midgets and a north korean attack would be scary as hell. (imagine an army of communist oompa loompa's)


Hit the jump for the rest of the images.

R.I.P Paul

Paul The World Cup Octopus is Dead!

Paul the octopus, an unlikely star of the 2010 World Cup who 'predicted' the outcome of eight matches, has died at an aquarium in Germany.

Staff at the Sea Life centre in Oberhausen said they were "devastated" to learn that he had passed away during the night.

Paul made his name by successfully choosing a mussel from one of two boxes bearing the flags of competing nations.                                                    

Octopuses rarely live beyond two years so his death was not unexpected.

Paul was two-and-a-half years old and had been hatched at another centre at Weymouth in England in 2008.

Full Story at http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/world-europe-11626050

Bedtime Stories

More Children Should be told this story.

Trust Him He's a Doctor...

just read this story and thought it would be worth sharing:

Surgeon cut off testicle'by mistake'

A patient lost a testicle during an operation because the surgeon cut it off by mistake, a General Medical Council (GMC) hearing has been told. Dr Sulieman Al Hourani was only supposed to cut out a cyst, but removed the whole right testicle instead. Dr Al Hourani was a locum surgeon at Fairfield General Hospital in Bury, Greater Manchester, at the time of the surgery in September 2007. He is accused of misconduct and also of stealing medication Now I don't know about you, but i think the stealing medication is a big deal, not a little side note. But then i also think i would be able to spot if my surgeon was off his face.  Full Story at http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/england/manchester/8630592.stm

Subliminal Advertising

It's not really subliminal, its just ads on the page, but i'm proud i managed to put them there so i'm congratulating myself.

:P

Let the world domination begin

Ok, No idea what I'm doing really, so lets just stare in awe at this role model for kids.

I may never party this hard, but I will try!